What can we control about performance anxiety?
Let’s talk about performance anxiety.
It’s very common, but we don’t talk enough about it. I can write you a whole email about why I think it is…but also…I’d rather give you some tips to how I deal with it.
So here’s a case study - an actual audition that I had. In fact, one of my best ones (though I didn’t get the job!)
I began my prep 12 weeks before the audition and the first thing I did was make a huge decision (and this is my first tip for you):
I decided to only focus on things over which I had complete control and to let go of everything else.
This mindset approach was liberating.
It boiled down to one primary goal - I worked towards being able to call my wife after each round and to be able to sincerely tell her that - “I could not have played better today.”
This is what I worked towards every practice session of every day for three months.
And like I said - I didn’t win the job (although, I was runner up and I was qualified by the committee.) But I consider this audition as one of my greatest audition successes.
Why? Because I got to call my wife after the super final round and say - “I could not have played better.”
So let’s break it down: what can’t we control at an audition?
The Environment (both the warm-up space and the concert hall:)
Temperature
Lighting
Acoustics
Who else shows up at the audition.
For several years, I was auditioning 3 times per year for major American orchestras. At every audition, I would run into the same four violists. These are all fantastic players who ended up in major symphonies. For a long time, I let it get in my head every time I saw them. It was almost demoralizing.
Which excerpts are chosen for the audition list and which excerpts are chosen for each round.
Though, once you go through enough auditions (or if you work with a coach), you see which excerpts are repeated.
The provided accompanist.
I have had some memorable experiences, not all of them positive.
The decisions of the committee.
This is tough - we can’t help but obsess about how they might react to our playing.
Sometimes I think the committee in my head was louder than any real committee out there in the concert hall - “I’m too loud! Wait, am I soft enough? Are my articulations appropriate for the acoustics?”
The Physical Effects of Performance Anxiety
Elevated heart rate
Cold fingertips
Shaky bow arm
Shaky knees
At your audition, you can either choose to ignore all of the above (which takes practice and the self control of a monk) OR you can show up prepared.
HOW?
You can control your preparation:
Prepare for the physical effects of performance anxiety by doing 30 jumping jacks to elevate your heart rate, and THEN, play Shostakovich 5.
Prepare for 8-12 weeks
Use a coach
Focus on general health issues like nutrition & exercise
Use visualization techniques
Practice in all sorts of environments - cold rooms, loud rooms, echoey chambers, etc.
Ultimately, for the things that you can’t control, let them go.
For the things that you CAN control, EMBRACE THEM! And practice daily with them.
And if you look through that list and think - that's overwhelming, then let me walk you through it in more detail.
PS To stimulate performance anxiety, I had a teacher tell me to smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a TON of coffee, and run down to a cold wet subway track and play. That way, I would know the conditions my body would be in during an audition. I would NOT recommend doing that!